Do you know that “Bendier than Thou” competitive feeling in a class? Have you been on either end of it sometimes?
I went to my first ever Pilates class last week. I haven’t been in any movement class for a while. Since 2020 actually. The start of the pandemic put an end to my early morning commute to London Bridge to practice yoga in a group.
It was a small daytime Pilates class and while I was doing what the teacher was doing, it hit me again.
People look at each other in a class.
People look at each other in a class – we look at the teacher but also at the other participants. We push ourselves more when we are in a class observed by others. Comparing, imitating. We want to keep up even if it feels too much. Even if it doesn’t feel good and the body tells us to stop.
Coming from an Ashtanga yoga background, I have seen this happen so many times over the years. And I have experienced it happen to me a lot. In a room full of people my practice will always be stronger and longer than when I am on my own.
When we were forced to stop doing yoga together because of Covid, this was my big challenge. How to keep doing as much as I was doing before, without a teacher and a group to keep me highly motivated. It is tiring doing 2 hours of yoga every day, apart from everything else, believe me. So the question was, how do I do it on my own?
And then the question changed. It became more of a: Why do I do it? What do I get from it, what is useful for me from this practice? What do I really need today?
So my practiced changed. It’s not that strong or long anymore. But it is a lot more about me. Nowadays, I see the unwanted disruption in the settled regularity of my life as a gift. I am more focused inside now, more aware. More motivated but in a different way – from within.
I was really reluctant to start teaching yoga online.
I was really reluctant to start teaching yoga online. I thought, you know, it will never be the same. The energy in a group just can’t happen online. Impossible. But I did start teaching online. And I am grateful for that too and I keep doing it. The energy is not the same, that part is true. But I could’t see that there will be no competition either and this in my opinion is worth much more. No Bendier than Thou in an online class with everybody else in a tiny square on your screen.
In an online class it’s only you on a yoga mat in your home. As a teacher I don’t even model that much nowadays. I use my words and give a lot of options to people to choose from. I leave space for the question “What do I need today, what will be of use?” to find its answer. And the answer will be different for everyone in the class today and it will probably change for the same person next time.
So if you are still reluctant as I was, give online yoga a chance. You might actually like it 🙂
Related articles:
How to navigate the online yoga world
7 benefits of doing yoga online
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