I have been living in countries that are foreign to me for more than 10 years now. I call this my decade of being lost and it taught me a lot about clarity and confusion.
Three of these years I spent in France where at the start I found myself with only a Bonjour to help me communicate with the local, frankly quite unfriendly Parisiens. Right away I got acquainted with confusion of the sort a had never known before. By then I had always known myself as a confident, capable, adequate human being.
Not anymore. Not even today, a decade or so later.
I still get confused in London, even if I know the language much better than French. Sometimes I don’t get the jokes, other times the whole context eludes me. I can listen to a conversation, know all the words and still extract no meaning. Social situations and expectations can be totally perplexing.
But with time, I came to appreciate this confusion. I don’t like it, I wish it was otherwise, but I see the value in it. Why? Well, first of all it reveals my edges, becomes a spotlight on my limitations. Then it breeds curiosity. When you’re completely certain about something, there’s little room for growth. Confusion compels you to delve deeper, experiment and seek guidance. This curiosity becomes the fuel for learning and exploration. And finally, confusion makes you observe and notice, develops better awareness which is a valuable tool for navigating the complexities of life.
I can see this very clearly when I am teaching yoga. There are times when I will give a verbal cue to a group of people in class and each will do something slightly different. And this moment of confusion is a learning opportunity for us all. For me a question arises: “Is there a better way to guide this movement with my words”? For them it is maybe “Am I really here right now, am I paying attention?” or “What am I avoiding?” or just “Wait, am I doing this right?”.
This is a chance for all of us to approach what is in front of us differently.
Because how can we course-correct if we’re not aware we’ve veered off course? Confusion, in its own bumbling way, becomes a beacon. It highlights a place where our autopilot needs adjusting. It is not a failure, it is information.
As one of my yoga teachers likes to say, the recognition of confusion is in itself a form of clarity. If we can see that we don’t know – that’s a very powerful place to be. All growth and learning come from a place of confusion.
